His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
