the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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