erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
