Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
