shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize