its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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