i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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