Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
porn star boner night. come get it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
