1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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