Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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