I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
