btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
