i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
