She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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