he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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