Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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