help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
