i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
