p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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