Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
