ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize