8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
