she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
