apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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