yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize