I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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