Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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