i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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