i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
People in love make me want to vomit
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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