i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You did what with his pubic hair?
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