she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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