Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
