maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you would pick up someone in the library
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
