i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
