I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
