I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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