I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
please come you make the beer taste better
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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