So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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