in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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