I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
