I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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