Yo dont text me then not text me
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
