She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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