Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
