Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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