yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize