i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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