he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
