one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
