had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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