Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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