Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
