i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
