yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
