South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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