just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
