Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just had sex on a roof
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize