I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize