Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I will die if light touches me.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
