The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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