He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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