I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
