can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
