I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
if only i could text you this smell
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
