If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize