I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
