ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
