Fuck appropriateness.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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