i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
