So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
