if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
