have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
