so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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