Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
