Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
