Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
