So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
