I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she told me i tasted like america
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
