the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
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