He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
