yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
