just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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