My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
