She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
